FUNSTUFF
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Officer Cuddles takes pride in providing public information regarding certain threats
within the community, and helps the staff and officers stay on top of current law
enforcement techniques by way of the
GREATER OMENTUM POLICE DEPARTMENT
HANDBOOK OF GANG IDENTIFICATION
and OTHER STUFF THEY SHOULD KNOW ANYWAY
This chapter covers the signs of gang activity in our community. Officer Cuddles works
closely with Officer Smirker to provide timely information about on this growing
menace. These mature urban members of the North Emerson Ladies Sewing Circle
and Street Gang have been called extremely dangerous. Officer Cuddles warns not to
provoke any confrontation as many members carry concealed weapons masquerading
as joint replacements and surgical stainless steel screws embedded in the metatarsal
area, which would hurt like hell should the gang member claim self-defense and lay
one right in the officer’s kahuntas. Ow.
within the community, and helps the staff and officers stay on top of current law
enforcement techniques by way of the
GREATER OMENTUM POLICE DEPARTMENT
HANDBOOK OF GANG IDENTIFICATION
and OTHER STUFF THEY SHOULD KNOW ANYWAY
This chapter covers the signs of gang activity in our community. Officer Cuddles works
closely with Officer Smirker to provide timely information about on this growing
menace. These mature urban members of the North Emerson Ladies Sewing Circle
and Street Gang have been called extremely dangerous. Officer Cuddles warns not to
provoke any confrontation as many members carry concealed weapons masquerading
as joint replacements and surgical stainless steel screws embedded in the metatarsal
area, which would hurt like hell should the gang member claim self-defense and lay
one right in the officer’s kahuntas. Ow.
The hand sign shown at left is the only one associated with the North Emerson gang but can
occasionally be seen flashed by old hippies (including Joe Cool) and misinformed Star Trek
fans. First used by a great number of citizens in the 1960’s it is used very little under the
current rule of government and considered outdated and inappropriate by today’s standards.
However, the North Emerson Gang likes it. So there.
occasionally be seen flashed by old hippies (including Joe Cool) and misinformed Star Trek
fans. First used by a great number of citizens in the 1960’s it is used very little under the
current rule of government and considered outdated and inappropriate by today’s standards.
However, the North Emerson Gang likes it. So there.
This is an example of the territorial identity badge worn in conjunction with gang style clothing.
Members usually wear baggy jeans, loose fitting sweat or t-shirts and white tennis shoes. These
gang members can be heard opening a conversation by saying “Hi!” and closing with “have a nice
day”. -ooOOOoo!!- Subversive!
Members usually wear baggy jeans, loose fitting sweat or t-shirts and white tennis shoes. These
gang members can be heard opening a conversation by saying “Hi!” and closing with “have a nice
day”. -ooOOOoo!!- Subversive!
The only known graffiti used by the North Emerson Street Gang is shown at left.
Usually found in the margins of notes written to and from individual gang members, and
occasionally on other paperwork. It is not unknown but extremely rare to find this gang
identification sign on the outside of any structure. It is, however, found in massive
quantities inside their gang hangout, a large box-like structure full of gang-related
objects and guarded by little old men in blue vests.
Usually found in the margins of notes written to and from individual gang members, and
occasionally on other paperwork. It is not unknown but extremely rare to find this gang
identification sign on the outside of any structure. It is, however, found in massive
quantities inside their gang hangout, a large box-like structure full of gang-related
objects and guarded by little old men in blue vests.
Another vital tool for identifying gang members is a catalog of gang tattoos. Here is an example of
the various individualized tattoos associated with the North Emerson gang. These diminutive and
numerous tattoos are usually found on the back of each hand, shoulders and sometimes on
faces, usually across the nose, and are colored shades of brown.
the various individualized tattoos associated with the North Emerson gang. These diminutive and
numerous tattoos are usually found on the back of each hand, shoulders and sometimes on
faces, usually across the nose, and are colored shades of brown.
So far gang activity in Greater Omentum has been limited to early morning rumbles at the local mall between the
Blue-Haired Mall Walkers and the North Emerson Sewing Circle gangs. Threats of "I'll sew you to the bench" and
the frightening retaliation cry of "oh yeah?" rally Officer Cuddles, Officer Smirker, and Officer Jiggles to settle
explosive situations before they get a chance to start. Just think! The personal risks undertaken by these brave
officers just to keep us safe are above and beyond the call. Wow.
A NEW MEMBER OF THE GANG UNIT (June 2007); We are pleased to introduce Officer Baldo Strut as the new
Greater Omentum Police Department’s Street Gang Coordinator, replacing Officer Smirker, who now lives in
Argentina under an assumed name.
Blue-Haired Mall Walkers and the North Emerson Sewing Circle gangs. Threats of "I'll sew you to the bench" and
the frightening retaliation cry of "oh yeah?" rally Officer Cuddles, Officer Smirker, and Officer Jiggles to settle
explosive situations before they get a chance to start. Just think! The personal risks undertaken by these brave
officers just to keep us safe are above and beyond the call. Wow.
A NEW MEMBER OF THE GANG UNIT (June 2007); We are pleased to introduce Officer Baldo Strut as the new
Greater Omentum Police Department’s Street Gang Coordinator, replacing Officer Smirker, who now lives in
Argentina under an assumed name.
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| "SUCCESS IS THE BEST REVENGE ! ! !" "Don't annoy the Old Hippies -- they might start to sing"..... |